Tag - mindfulness

About author View all posts

Paige

Paige Baggett-Riggins, a self-proclaimed "Information Junkie," is addicted to the exploration of all modalities that improve our mind, body and spirit. She relies on a daily mindfulness practice to control her "speed eating" habit and the constant urge to add more to her ever increasing book "situation."

Are You Bringing Mindfulness to Your Mat?

Mindfulness

Bring More Mindfulness Onto the Mat For a sense of ease that can permeate your whole life, try practicing mindfulness meditation techniques on the mat.

NORA ISAACS
OCT 21, 2008

You’re standing in Virabhadrasana I (Warrior Pose I). You actively reach through your back foot and allow your tailbone to descend away from your lower back as your arms reach up toward the ceiling. As you hold the pose you start to notice your front thigh burning, your shoulders holding tension, and your breath becoming labored. Still holding. Soon you get agitated and start to anticipate the joy you’ll feel when the pose is over. Your breath becomes shallow while you await the teacher’s instruction to come out of the pose. But she doesn’t say anything. You label her a sadist. Still holding. You decide that you are never coming back to yoga. As your thigh starts to shake, you mentally check out. Frustrated, you drop your arms and look around the room.

Now imagine this: You’re standing in Virabhadrasana I, noticing the same sensations, having the same thoughts and feelings of anger, boredom, impatience, and tension. But instead of reacting, you simply observe your thoughts. You remember that this pose, like everything else in life, will eventually end. You remind yourself not to get caught up in your own storyline. And, in the midst of feeling irritated while your thighs burn, you appreciate the sweetness of the moment. You may even feel a wash of gratitude that you have the time and privilege to do a hatha yoga practice. Then you bring your awareness back to your breath and witness the ongoing sensations and thoughts until the teacher guides you out of the pose.

You’ve just experienced the benefits of mindfulness of bringing your awareness into the present moment, of noticing and accepting what is happening right now without judgment or reaction. And, no doubt, it feels a lot better than the first scenario (which you might recognize as something you’ve also experienced). Mindfulness is something that Buddhist meditators cultivate. And it’s something that all styles of hatha yoga teachers, often through an emphasis on breath awareness.

Lately, a group of teachers who each, independently, discovered the benefits of merging mindfulness with asana has begun to offer something we might call “mindful yoga.” Teachers from a variety of yogic backgrounds people such as Frank Jude Boccio, Stephen Cope, Janice Gates, Cyndi Lee, Phillip Moffitt, and Sarah Powers are applying traditional Buddhist mindfulness teachings to the asana practice. In classes around the country, they offer these tools as a way to bolster your presence and awareness not only when you’re on the mat but also when you step off it, which can ultimately make your life—with all of its conflicts, confrontations, and distractions—easier to navigate. “My experience is that when we really cultivate mindfulness in the Hatha and sitting practice, it almost naturally begins to seep into our other activities,” says Boccio, the author of Mindfulness Yoga.

The Indian Connection to Buddhist Concepts

You don’t have to be Buddhist or even know much about Buddhism to learn mindfulness practices, but it’s helpful to know that yoga and Buddhism have much in common. They are both ancient spiritual practices that originated on the Indian subcontinent, and they both aim to help you liberate yourself from the small, egoic sense of self and experience oneness with the universe. The eightfold path of the Buddha and the eight-limbed path of yogic sage Patanjali are quite similar: Both begin with ethical practices and conduct and include training in concentration and awareness. “Ultimately, I see Buddha and Patanjali as brothers, using different languages, but speaking about and pointing to the same thing,” says Stephen Cope, director of the Kripalu Institute and the author of The Wisdom of Yoga.

One difference, however, is that the yogic path emphasizes the development of concentration on a highly refined object, like the breath, to produce profound states of absorption. The Buddhist path, on the other hand, focuses on mindfulness of all events as they unfold in the stream of consciousness so you can experience what is happening without clinging to it or pushing it away. So, that shaking thigh in your standing pose? It doesn’t overtake your whole experience, and you don’t have to change it. With mindfulness, it just becomes one small sensation in the whole fabric of a moment. Applied more broadly, when your whole body is shaking because you’re nervous about a job interview, you can allow that sensation to be there. It doesn’t have to eat into your self-confidence or ruin the experience.

A Systematic Approach to Mindful Asana Practice

Mindfulness has always been an essential aspect of any serious yogi’s physical practice. But today’s “mindful yoga” teachers say that Buddhism’s comprehensive road map to mindfulness has benefited them even more. That’s not to say these teachers felt something was missing from yoga. For most, the integration has evolved naturally: As their interest in, and understanding of, Buddhism deepened over time, they realized that highly developed mindfulness techniques could complement their Hatha practice.
“I had been practicing asana mindfully, paying attention, especially to my breath and alignment details,” Boccio recalls. “But when I heard the Buddha’s teaching on the four foundations of mindfulness, the vista of asana practice widened before me. Instead of just practicing ‘mindfully’ in general,” Boccio says, “he followed the Buddha’s teachings, which provide detailed instruction that can be applied within any pose. By systematically approaching mindfulness, he was able to identify specific behaviors of his, such as grasping for the outcome of a pose, avoiding a certain pose, or just zoning out. And once he identified them, he was able to make positive changes.

Boccio explains the difference between practicing yoga mindfully and following the Buddha’s mindfulness techniques: “While other forms of yoga may teach students to practice asana with mindfulness, I teach and practice mindfulness through the form of asana.”

Cyndi Lee, who is the founder of New York’s OM Yoga, says that, while she has always loved the physical poses, it wasn’t until she applied specific Buddhist mindfulness practices that she saw the fruits of her practice go beyond the physical level. “The Buddhist mindfulness practice has a fully developed technique, which can then be modified to apply to asana,” she says. “For me, that is when my practice showed up in my life as increased patience, curiosity, kindness, the potential for a letting-go of agenda, the understanding of craving, and the recognition of basic goodness in myself and others.”

Invitation to Go Deeper

The beauty of mindfulness training is that it transcends yoga styles: Once you learn the basics of the practice, you can apply it in any class you take. Today’s yoga teachers have woven a web of mindful yoga based on their unique training, interests, and background.

Sarah Powers’ classes often begin with Yin Yoga which consists of mainly seated postures held for long periods of time and move into vinyasa flow. The long holds in Yin can bring up intense physical sensations, not to mention an often persistent, nagging desire to exit a pose. Powers feels this is the perfect time to remind students of mindfulness methods, and she does this by sharing teachings from the Buddha-dharma. “When we are called to go into the deeper places of pain, discomfort, or agitation, we need support to integrate that experience. Receiving mindfulness teachings assists this process.” By the time students are ready to begin the flow portion of the practice, the stage is set for mindful awareness.

In his Kripalu Yoga classes, Cope encourages students to develop “witness consciousness,” the quality of mind that allows it to stand still in the center of the whirlwind of sensations. With practice, Cope says, students, can develop this aspect of mindfulness, the part of the Self that is both standing in the middle of the experience and also observing it.

Cope says that suffering can serve as a reminder to come back to the present moment and to observe the truth of what is happening at that moment. In class, he asks students to identify the ways they are causing themselves to suffer—for example, by comparing themselves to their neighbor in Triangle Pose or yearning to go farther in a forward bend—and then to recognize these as simply thoughts or behavioral patterns. Such thoughts are not the truth but rather things we have conditioned ourselves to believe over time until they become so ingrained that it is hard to discern them. “You notice the pattern, name it—and then you start investigating it,” Cope says.

Boccio teaches the Buddha’s four foundations of mindfulness of the body, of feelings, of the mind, of the dharma (truth) on the mat. After he instructs his students in a pose, he reminds them to cultivate mindfulness by asking questions: Are you bringing awareness to your breath? Where is sensation arising? Are you starting to create a mental formation by wondering when this pose will end? “When people start to investigate, they begin to see that they don’t have to believe every single thought that pops through their head,” he says.

Mindfulness in Action

Yoga class is a great laboratory for becoming more mindful, because it’s rife with conditions that are beyond your control. On any given day the traffic noise might be uncomfortably loud, you may feel bored or restless, your neighbor’s sweat might drip on your mat, your hamstrings may feel tight. Armed with mindfulness techniques, you can reframe these conditions so that you get more out of your yoga class and feel less reactive about things that you usually find irritating and distracting.

For yoga teacher Laura Neal, owner of Yoga at Cattitude in Bar Harbor, Maine, mindfulness techniques made her aware of her tendency to push too hard in her physical practice. “Now I’m less likely to push past my limit—and also less likely to stop short of it,” she says.

Michelle Morrison, a supervisor for an accounting firm in Manhattan who also teaches mindfulness yoga, feels the effects of combining awareness practice with her physical practice. “I came to see the different kinds of things happening: where I was clinging to pleasurable sensations, what was causing the irritation, noticing my habits,” she says. “I tend to be kind of hard on myself, and I’ve noticed that I can have those feelings and yet open myself to other options.”

Anne Cushman, a co-director of the 18-month Mindfulness Yoga and Meditation Training Program at Spirit Rock Meditation Center in Woodacre, California, says that mindfulness can enliven a yoga practice operating on autopilot. “It’s a way to open more deeply to your yoga practice and extend that feeling into the rest of your life.” Cushman also says that it can open new doors for people who can’t seem to get a sitting practice going: “For some people, seated meditation is not accessible at this stage in their practice, either temperamentally or physically. That’s just not their doorway.”

The Next Wave

If this practice speaks to you, look for a teacher who has studied both traditions. “It’s good to have someone who can respond to your questions and support you,” Boccio says. So far, there is no easy resource for locating such a person, although the quest should be getting easier. Currently, a training program is being offered at Spirit Rock in conjunction with the Kripalu Center for Yoga & Health in Stockbridge, Massachusetts, taught by renowned yoga and mindfulness teachers from around the country. The program integrates asana, Pranayama (breathing techniques), mindfulness meditation, and the teachings of Patanjali.

“Senior teachers at Spirit Rock noticed that more and more yoga students were coming on retreats and wanting to learn about Buddhist meditation,” Cushman says. “We saw an eagerness and desire among the yoga community to learn insight meditation” (called vipassana).

That’s certainly true for Rachel Lanzerotti, a nonprofit organizational consultant in San Francisco, who is in the midst of taking the course. “It has taken me further in a direction that I was already going—[a direction] of slowing down very deeply into the practice and truly being present with what arises.” She uses the recent example of standing in Tadasana (Mountain Pose) to illustrate these changes: “I was so incredibly captivated by the feeling of my feet against the mat, and the mat against my feet and everything rising from there,” she recalls. “I was drawn into that moment of sensation and breath and observation, even as I was noticing it. I ended up standing there for minutes, and it was incredibly precious and rich.”

Practitioners say that integrating mindfulness has helped them be better able to deal with the everyday stresses of work, relationships, and finding their place in the world. Cyndi Lee says that mindfulness works because it offers a realistic approach to dealing with life’s challenges. “It’s very earthy, grounded, and time-tested material,” she says. “It’s not about escape, creating a bliss state, and then when you open your eyes, you come crashing down into reality. Whatever your situation is, you can work with it. It gives you a path for shifting your general scenario away from attachment or aversion, to thinking there is fundamentally no problem and everything is workable. And that is very liberating.”

A Mindfulness Practice

1. Savasana (Corpse Pose)

Savasana is one of the four main meditation postures taught by the Buddha; do it to start and end your practice. Lie on your back with your feet 12 to 18 inches apart, arms at your sides a few inches away from the torso with the palms up. Surrender the full weight of your body to gravity.
Rest your awareness on your breath, wherever you feel it in the body. Let go of any tendency to manipulate it; simply know an in the breath as an in breath, an outbreak as an outbreak. Open to the breath and its various qualities: deep or shallow, fast or slow, rough or smooth, even or uneven. Scan the body. Is it fully released or still holding tension? When the mind wanders, note any irritation and judgment, and bring it back to the breath and the body.

2. Eye-of-the-Needle Pose

From Corpse, bring both feet to the floor near the buttocks, hip-width apart. Place your outer right shin on your left thigh. Draw your left knee toward your chest, reach between your legs with your right arm and around the outside of your left leg with your left arm, and clasp your hands. Notice whether you held or restricted your breath as you moved into this stretch, and continue to let the breath flow naturally.

Depending on the openness of your body, you may feel stretching sensations in your right hip. You may also feel some resistance to the sensations, which causes you to tense the surrounding muscles. See if you can release this tension, and observe how the sensations change as you maintain the stretch. You’ve just established mindfulness of the body, sensations, and mental formations. Continue this work as you release and repeat on the other side. Since we are not perfectly symmetrical beings, you may find that one hip provokes stronger sensations and reactivity than the other. Can you stay with the bare sensation, maybe even see the difference between one side and the other, without getting caught in judging or picking and choosing?

3. Cat-Cow Pose

Come onto your hands and knees, positioning your hands directly under your shoulders and your knees under your hips. As you exhale, round your back and scoop the tailbone between your legs. Let the head tilt so you are gazing back toward your thighs. On the inhalation, tilt the pelvis forward, opening your belly toward the floor and letting your spine move into the torso, creating a gentle backbend. Reach the crown of your head and your tailbone up toward the ceiling. Be careful not to reach upward with your chin, which compresses the back of the neck. Flow back and forth for a few breaths.

As you continue to coordinate the movement with your breath, let the timing of the breath determine your pace. After going back and forth several times, notice the mind’s natural tendency to wander. This is a common reaction to repetition. The mind seems to assume that having done something well, it doesn’t have to know anything more and needn’t pay attention. This “knowing mind” is often the biggest obstacle to intimacy with oneself and with others. When we think we know, we stop listening and seeing. Try to maintain the “don’t-know mind,” and you will grow in understanding and intimacy. Come back to the breath again and again; it’s the thread that keeps body and mind connected.

4. Adho Mukha Svanasana (Downward-Facing Dog Pose)

From Cat-Cow, tuck your toes under, lift your hips, and straighten your legs into Down Dog. Playfully explore the pose by bringing the heels to the floor one at a time. Coordinate with the breath and notice if your mind wanders in the face of repetition. Once you straighten both legs, remain in the pose for anywhere from 8 to 15 breaths, staying alert to sensations, mental formations, and the way the experience continuously changes. Teachers often talk about “holding” the postures but notice how there is no fixed thing to hold on to. Moment by moment, breath by breath, the posture re-creates itself. The Dog of the first breath is not the same as the Dog of the sixth breath.

You will begin to see that this is true not only for this asana, and all the other asanas but also for all life experiences. You will come to see that you are not the same “person” when you come out of the posture that you were when you went into it.

5. Tadasana (Mountain Pose)

Mountain Pose is too often perceived as just something to do between the more important asanas, when in fact it is foundational for all the standing postures.

Stand with your arms at your sides. Press the four corners of your feet into the ground, distributing your body weight evenly between both feet and centering it just in front of your heels. Imagine your pelvis as a bowl with its rim level, both front to back and side to side. Let the spine rise up, keep the lower ribs from jutting out, gently lift the chest, and open the heart.

Relax the shoulders, with your shoulder blades moving into and supporting your upper back. Keep the chin parallel with the floor and your ears centered over your shoulders.

See what happens as you simply stand there. Be awake to all the sensations that arise: the subtle swaying of the body, the movement of the breath. Does boredom, impatience, or anticipation arise? Can you just be here? When you feel you’ve been here long enough, take another 6 to 8 breaths and see what happens.

6. Virabhadrasana II (Warrior Pose II)

Reach out to the sides with your arms parallel to the floor and step your feet apart so that they are directly under your fingertips. Turn your left foot in about 15 degrees and your right foot out 90. Without leaning forward, bend the right knee toward a 90-degree angle so that the knee is directly over the ankle. Keep your arms parallel to the ground and gaze out over your right hand. As you breathe, stay alert to changes in the quality of the breath, its depth, and rate. As sensations begin to arise in your front thigh or your shoulders, notice how the mind reacts. Do you feel aversion to the tension accompanying the sensations? See what happens to the quality of your experience if you stay with the breath while releasing this tension. Notice the storylines that arise about what is happening and choose to just listen without grasping at any of them. Rather than solidifying the sensations into entities with which to do battle, embrace them with awareness. Notice if you can—their habitual, nonpersonal nature. After doing both sides, come back to Mountain and scan through the body, being open to all that arises.

7. Ardha Matsyendrasana (Half Lord of the Fishes Pose)

Sit in a cross-legged position, sliding your left foot under your right thigh so that your left heel comes to rest at the outside of your right hip. Cross your right foot over your left thigh so that the sole of your right foot is planted firmly on the ground. Hug your right leg with your left arm just below the knee and use your right hand to press into the ground behind you. Extend your spine up. Twist to the right, using your left hand to aid the left side of your body in coming around to the right. You can take your left arm to the outside of your right leg and press into the leg for added leverage, but let the twist rise naturally from the base of the spine upward. Turn your head to the right at the end of the torso’s movement and keep the neck relaxed. Stay present with your breath, allowing it to guide you in an exploration of release as you exhale and gently untwist. Repeat to the other side.

8. Paschimottanasana (Seated Forward Bend)

Sit with your legs straight out in front of you. Press the backs of your thighs, calves, and heels into the ground. Reach through your heels and flex your toes toward your head. Press your hands to the ground beside your hips and lift your chest. If your lower back rounds and your weight is on your tailbone, sit up on a blanket for support. Grasp your feet or your shins, soften your groins, and slightly rotate your thighs inward. Lengthen your torso out over your legs, keeping the lower back from rounding. Let go of your “grasping mind” and be where you are. Feel the breath move within the body. Surrender into the posture, and keep letting go of any clinging or aversion to the ever-changing phenomena. Notice how the attempt to prolong or create pleasant feelings is itself a form of tension.

When you’re ready, rest in Corpse Pose for a few minutes, letting the experience of the practice penetrate the body-mind. After Corpse, consider meditating. Sitting after asana practice is a nourishing and satisfying endeavor. Why not try it now? (Downward-Facing Dog Pose)

From Cat-Cow, tuck your toes under, lift your hips, and straighten your legs into Down Dog. Playfully explore the pose by bringing the heels to the floor one at a time. Coordinate with the breath and notice if your mind wanders in the face of repetition. Once you straighten both legs, remain in the pose for anywhere from 8 to 15 breaths, staying alert to sensations, mental formations, and the way the experience continuously changes. Teachers often talk about “holding” the postures but notice how there is no fixed thing to hold on to. Moment by moment, breath by breath, the posture re-creates itself. The Dog of the first breath is not the same as the Dog of the sixth breath.

You will begin to see that this is true not only for this asana, and all the other asanas but also for all life experiences. You will come to see that you are not the same “person” when you come out of the posture that you were when you went into it.

9. Tadasana (Mountain Pose)

Mountain Pose is too often perceived as just something to do between the more important asanas, when in fact it is foundational for all the standing postures.

Stand with your arms at your sides. Press the four corners of your feet into the ground, distributing your body weight evenly between both feet and centering it just in front of your heels. Imagine your pelvis as a bowl with its rim level, both front to back and side to side. Let the spine rise up, keep the lower ribs from jutting out, gently lift the chest, and open the heart. Relax the shoulders, with your shoulder blades moving into and supporting your upper back. Keep the chin parallel with the floor and your ears centered over your shoulders.

See what happens as you simply stand there. Be awake to all the sensations that arise: the subtle swaying of the body, the movement of the breath. Does boredom, impatience, or anticipation arise? Can you just be here? When you feel you’ve been here long enough, take another 6 to 8 breaths and see what happens.

10. Virabhadrasana II (Warrior Pose II)

Reach out to the sides with your arms parallel to the floor and step your feet apart so that they are directly under your fingertips. Turn your left foot in about 15 degrees and your right foot out 90. Without leaning forward, bend the right knee toward a 90-degree angle so that the knee is directly over the ankle. Keep your arms parallel to the ground and gaze out over your right hand. As you breathe, stay alert to changes in the quality of the breath, its depth, and rate. As sensations begin to arise in your front thigh or your shoulders, notice how the mind reacts. Do you feel aversion to the tension accompanying the sensations? See what happens to the quality of your experience if you stay with the breath while releasing this tension. Notice the storylines that arise about what is happening and choose to just listen without grasping at any of them. Rather than solidifying the sensations into entities with which to do battle, embrace them with awareness. Notice—if you can—their habitual, nonpersonal nature. After doing both sides, come back to Mountain and scan through the body, being open to all that arises.

11. Ardha Matsyendrasana (Half Lord of the Fishes Pose)

Sit in a cross-legged position, sliding your left foot under your right thigh so that your left heel comes to rest at the outside of your right hip. Cross your right foot over your left thigh so that the sole of your right foot is planted firmly on the ground. Hug your right leg with your left arm just below the knee and use your right hand to press into the ground behind you. Extend your spine up. Twist to the right, using your left hand to aid the left side of your body in coming around to the right. You can take your left arm to the outside of your right leg and press into the leg for added leverage, but let the twist rise naturally from the base of the spine upward. Turn your head to the right at the end of the torso’s movement and keep the neck relaxed. Stay present with your breath, allowing it to guide you in an exploration of release as you exhale and gently untwist. Repeat to the other side.

12. Paschimottanasana (Seated Forward Bend)

Sit with your legs straight out in front of you. Press the backs of your thighs, calves, and heels into the ground. Reach through your heels and flex your toes toward your head. Press your hands to the ground beside your hips and lift your chest. If your lower back rounds and your weight is on your tailbone, sit up on a blanket for support. Grasp your feet or your shins, soften your groins, and slightly rotate your thighs inward. Lengthen your torso out over your legs, keeping the lower back from rounding. Let go of your “grasping mind” and be where you are. Feel the breath move within the body. Surrender into the posture, and keep letting go of any clinging or aversion to the ever-changing phenomena. Notice how the attempt to prolong or create pleasant feelings is itself a form of tension.

When you’re ready, rest in Corpse Pose for a few minutes, letting the experience of the practice penetrate the body-mind. After Corpse, consider meditating. Sitting after asana practice is a nourishing and satisfying endeavor. Why not try it now?

Need some inspiration? Watch this film about a Zen master

Inspiration Zen Master Buddhist

Anticipation is building for the documentary about Vietnamese Zen master Thich Nhat Hanh, which has received compliments from Oscar-winning director Alejandro G. Inarritu ahead of its world premiere on Sunday.

“Walk With Me,” narrated by Benedict Cumberbatch and directed by Marc J. Francis and Max Pugh, was filmed over three years at Thich Nhat Hanh’s Plum Village Buddhist monastery in France. It also traveled by the mindfulness advocate on the road in the U.S.

Inarritu, who won Oscars for “The Revenant” and “Birdman,” just spoke with the Variety about his support for the meditative film, praising it as “silent and pure.”

The film contains “images and sound that translate the forgotten conciseness, [putting it] right there on the screen,” he said.

“I loved how [the filmmakers] capture and convey, cinematically, the sometimes inexplicable state of being awakened. It gives a hint of that quiet voice so underrated today and ironically so needed in this time of fear and ignorance.”

Inarritu told Variety that he tries to practice mindfulness every day because it helps and it transforms.

“I truly believe that Thich Nhat Hanh is one of the most intelligent persons alive,” said the director, who attended a 21-day retreat at Plum Village and watched the Zen master discuss with two Nobel Prize-winning quantum physicists the conciseness of reality and the beauty of the awareness of it. “His spiritual wisdom and scientific knowledge is this unique blend of quantum physics and Buddhist tradition

Thich Nhat Hanh, 90, has lived at Plum Village for decades, traveling regularly throughout North America and Europe to give lectures on mindfulness and peace.

His key teaching is that, through mindfulness, we can learn to live happily in the present moment – the only way to truly develop peace, both in one’s self and in the world. He does not ask his Western followers to abandon their religions.

He has returned to Vietnam three times – in 2005, 2007 and 2008 – to meet with Buddhist followers and offer prayers for war victims.

The Speakit Films’ movie about his practice will have its world premiere at the South by Southwest Festival in Texas.

“In my life, I’ve been so touched by the teachings of Thich Nhat Hanh,” said Cumberbatch, an Oscar-nominated actor for “The Imitation Game” and an Emmy winner for “Sherlock.”

“I have no doubt that audiences across the world will be moved by this beautifully crafted inspiration film,” he said.

The Thich Nhat Hanh Foundation, a division of the non-profit Unified Buddhist Church, Inc. founded by Thich Nhat Hanh, said the movie offers the hope that peace is possible. “It is a piece of mindful media that can water positive messages in our society,” it said.

Mindful Parenting? STOP

Mindful Parenting

The 5 Main Tenets of Mindful Parenting By Lisa Kring

Mindfulness is the capacity to be fully present with one’s actual, moment-to-moment experience as it is arising, with kind attention, without the mind trying to make it different. More often than not, we are on “automatic pilot,” mindlessly driven by mental patterns, preoccupied with a future that never quite arrives and a past that is no longer happening. As a result, we often feel stressed, anxious, depressed out of sync, and exhausted. Mindfulness meditation practices help to restore and strengthen the body/mind connection from within, at the moment, increasing health and well-being, regardless of external conditions.

As parents, perhaps the most precious thing we can give our children is the gift of our full presence, in the moment. This is the deep intention and invitation for parents as they make space for mindfulness practice in their lives. Mindful parenting takes to heart the deep truth that we can only give to our children what we have given first and fundamentally to ourselves.
As we become more aware of our own deepest needs through practice, mindful parenting also involves decoding and addressing the deeper needs of our children, rather than getting mindlessly caught up in and reactive to surface behaviors. Therefore, the cultivation of self-compassion/love, healthy self-acceptance and self-awareness are essential components of skillful and effective mindful parenting. Mindful parenting involves the “inner work” of coming home to oneself as an authentic human being for the benefit of all. As parents learn to open and “come home” more and more of their unique wholeness, letting go of unrealistic expectations, they are more available for their children, seeing and loving them more and more as they really are. Through both daily formal and informal practices, mindful parenting focuses on managing strong emotions, reactivity, and stress, improving mindful communication, honoring sovereignty, recognizing and actively reshaping one’s maladaptive mental patterns, as well as cultivating compassion, lovingkindness, and self-care.

Here are five main tenets of mindful parenting:

1. Make space for just being, every day

Our lives are only lived in moments. Mindful parenting depends on being more present, so establishing a daily mindfulness practice is considered key. Simply sit for 5-30 minutes every day, at the same time and place, bringing awareness to the breath in the body as a natural, physical, felt experience. When the mind wanders (which it will!), don’t make it a problem. Simply notice when this happens, let go of that “train” of thought, and gently bring your awareness back to the anchor of the breath in the body, again and again. Being present requires maintaining the mind/body connection, in awareness. Research shows that “mind wandering,” i.e. when our mind is caught up in thoughts of the future or past, separated from what is really happening in the body, our health and well-being are compromised. So, it is so important to just be, at the moment, as you truly are. We tend to abandon ourselves all day long, through activity, distractions, pressures, and demands, mindlessly driven. The greatest gift we can give our children is our full presence. We must begin with ourselves first. Being present, and modeling this capacity for your children, is priceless.

2. Mindfully manage your stress

As parents, we are often living our lives running on empty, over-scheduled, in a constant state of low-grade stress. As a result, we rarely bring our “best selves” to the interactions with our children. As the mind/body connection becomes strengthened through mindfulness practice, it becomes possible to actively track and notice stress or imbalance in the body/mind, for any reason, as we are going about our day. We can actually shift from a mindlessly reactive and stressed mode to a mindfully responsive mode by using the STOP acronym below. You can use this in the carpool lane, getting the kids ready for school, etc…

S- Stop. Whenever you notice stress or imbalance, simply pause in awareness.

T- Take a breath. Simply bring your awareness into the breathing body, just letting the sensations of the breath move into the forefront. Also, notice how your mind begins to settle a bit, bringing more clarity. Breath awareness actually harmonizes the cardiovascular systems in the body, while also calming the “alarm” centers in the more primitive parts of the brain, restoring full brain function. When we are stressed, we can’t think clearly or see any situation accurately.

O- Observe. Just notice how the breath begins to naturally bring balance to the systems of the body. Let this be felt. Also, look around. What is really happening, at the moment?

P- Proceed. Having shifted to a more mindfully responsive mode, take an action that is more skillful, appropriate and best attuned to your situation.

3. Embrace the model of the “good enough’ parent

Often, we are often holding ourselves to too high a standard, striving to be the “perfect” parent. Mindful parenting embraces the reality and wisdom of the “good enough” parent, acknowledging that regardless of our best intentions, moments of imperfection and failure are unavoidable. So, as parents, how we navigate these moments is an important aspect of mindful parenting. Our children need us to fail, at times, otherwise, they cannot separate from us developmentally. Also, if we try to deny this reality, our children are not given an authentic model of what it is to be human, warts and all. When these inevitable moments of imperfection and failure occur, they become opportunities for compassion, learning, repair, forgiveness, humor, honesty, and kindness. It goes without saying that this needs to be conveyed in developmentally appropriate ways.

4. Honor your children’s sovereignty

Basically, what all children truly need is to be seen and known, as they really are, separate from their parents. It is therefore crucial that we establish healthy boundaries between ourselves and our children, allowing for clear seeing and knowing. Honoring our children’s sovereignty is not about giving them unbridled freedom or too many choices. It is about bringing more awareness to our own unmet needs, agendas, issues, unfinished business, and thwarted dreams. Otherwise, they all too easily get projected onto our children. This points to the “inner work” of mindful parenting, and our ability to hold all of this as separate in awareness. We need to take responsibility for what is unfinished in us, rather than burdening our children. Can we truly see, value and love our children as they really are, different and quite separate from us? Many parent/child conflicts involve a lack of clear boundaries and emotional separation on the parent’s part. What they need and what we need, can often be at odds. The idea is to learn to acknowledge and address all these needs with more skill, understanding and grace in mindful awareness.

5. Cultivate kindness and compassion

Nothing is more humbling, more challenging and more heartbreaking than parenting. There is no quitting and no hiding and no “finish line.” Therefore, as an act of self-preservation, we must actively cultivate kindness and compassion in the moment, mostly for ourselves. More often than not, our children get the best of us, and we can be left feeling empty and resentful. Mindfulness practice is often referred to as an act of “self-love” or ongoing “self-parenting.”

Often, we are looking outside of ourselves for love, approval and care. But, through mindfulness practice, we can come home to ourselves, getting on our own best side, attending to our own needs in a way that only we can do for ourselves. Parenting can be so hard, so the intention is to not make it worse. We learn to let go of unrealistic expectations, to love and accept ourselves more and more as we really are, finding more and more wholeness. Our children are in need of our unconditional love. But, we cannot give what we do not possess.

Therefore, we must begin first with ourselves, experiencing more and more kindness, compassion and self-acceptance. As a result, this begins to naturally flow to our children, more and more.

This post is part of a series produced by The Huffington Post in conjunction with our women’s conference, “The Third Metric: Redefining Success Beyond Money & Power,” which took place in New York on June 6, 2013.

Dangerous Myths About Mindfulness That We Need to Stop Believing

Mindfulness

Mindfulness has been a hot topic over the past several years. Many scientific studies are showing remarkable benefits. It changes our brains, reduces stress and can even improve our memory.

However, there have been several misconceptions and confusions about what mindfulness is and how to practice it.

I hope this article will help debunk some of the myths and confusion around mindfulness. In fact, I hope 2017 will be the year we think less about mindfulness, and practice it more.

1) Mindfulness and meditation are the same.

This isn’t quite true. Meditation is practiced through sitting, walking and lying down and is usually completed in 10-30 minutes. It’s a formal practice where you need to spare a certain period of time to do it. It usually involves focusing on your breathe, a particular part of your body or an object.

Mindfulness is about noticing what’s happening within us and around us as we go about our daily tasks. It involves a non-judgmental attitude as we note our breathing, thoughts, feelings, sensations and surroundings.

This is an important distinction because many people believe that they can’t practice mindfulness if they can’t meditate. The truth is, everyone can practice mindfulness!

As Sharon Salzberg says:

“Mindfulness isn’t difficult, we just need to remember to do it.”

2) We need to be present ALL the time.

The aim of mindfulness isn’t to be present in each and every moment. If we did this, we would feel too overwhelmed with our senses. We need to daydream to be creative and think of solutions.

However, mindfulness involves avoiding thinking about the past and future when it really isn’t useful. Buddhist master Thich Nhat Thanh explains this perfectly:

“To dwell in the here and now does not mean you never think about the past or responsibly plan for the future. The idea is simply not to allow yourself to get lost in regrets about the past or worries about the future. If you are firmly grounded in the present moment, the past can be an object of inquiry, the object of your mindfulness and concentration. You can attain many insights by looking into the past. But you are still grounded in the present moment.”

3) Your mind must be quiet to practice meditation.

Many people think they can’t meditate because they can’t keep their mind quiet. However, with mindfulness we don’t try to block out thoughts. Rather we acknowledge our thoughts, then return our focus back to our breathe (or whatever you’re focusing on). Mindfulness is about becoming aware of our thoughts, so we can create a gap between the mind and the observer. This is described as “liberation” by Eckhart Tolle:

“What a liberation to realize that the “voice in my head” is not who I am. Who am I then? The one who sees that.”

4) The goal of mindfulness is to achieve peace.

This isn’t entirely accurate. There is no objective to meditation or mindfulness. Mindfulness meditation involves a willingness to simply be with whatever is happening within us and around us with a gentle and open mind. This may cause us to discover things about who we are and what we want in life. It requires courage to see things as they are rather than how we wish they were.

Alan Watts says it best:

“We could say that meditation doesn’t have a reason or doesn’t have a purpose. In this respect it’s unlike almost all other things we do except perhaps making music and dancing. When we make music we don’t do it in order to reach a certain point, such as the end of the composition. If that were the purpose of music then obviously the fastest players would be the best. Also, when we are dancing we are not aiming to arrive at a particular place on the floor as in a journey. When we dance, the journey itself is the point, as when we play music the playing itself is the point. And exactly the same thing is true in meditation. Meditation is the discovery that the point of life is always arrived at in the immediate moment.”

5) Mindfulness is passive.

It’s definitely not. Mindful involves being present in the moment so we can take the appropriate action for that situation. It involves learning how to respond in stressful situations, rather than react. It also involves consistent practice. Mindful isn’t difficult. It’s just getting in a habit to actually do it.

According to mindfulness expert Jon Kabat-Zinn:

“The best way to capture moments is to pay attention. This is how we cultivate mindfulness. It means being awake. It means knowing what you are doing.”

Continue the conversation

Our parent site, Ideapod, is a social network for idea sharing. It’s a place for you to explore ideas, share your own and come up with new perspectives, meeting like minded idea sharers in the process.

Spending 10 Minutes a Day on Mindfulness Subtly Changes the Way You React to Everything

Mindfulness

Leaders across the globe feel that the unprecedented busyness of modern-day Conscious Business Leadership makes them more reactive and less proactive. There is a solution to this hardwired, reactionary leadership approach: mindfulness.

Having trained thousands of leaders in the techniques of this ancient practice, we’ve seen over and over again that a diligent approach to mindfulness can help people create a one-second mental space between an event or stimulus and their response to it. One second may not sound like a lot, but it can be the difference between making a rushed decision that leads to failure and reaching a thoughtful conclusion that leads to increased performance. It’s the difference between acting out of anger and applying due patience. It’s a one-second lead over your mind, your emotions, your world.

Research has found that mindfulness training alters our brains and how we engage with ourselves, others, and our work. When practiced and applied, mindfulness fundamentally alters the operating system of the mind. Through repeated mindfulness practice, brain activity is redirected from ancient, reactionary parts of the brain, including the limbic system, to the newest, rational part of the brain, the prefrontal cortex.

In this way mindfulness practice decreases activity in the parts of the brain responsible for fight-or-flight and knee-jerk reactions while increasing activity in the part of the brain responsible for what’s termed our executive functioning. This part of the brain, and the executive functioning skills it supports, is the control center for our thoughts, words, and actions. It’s the center of logical thought and impulse control. Simply put, relying more on our executive functioning puts us firmly in the driver’s seat of our minds, and by extension our lives.

One second can be the difference between achieving desired results or not. One second is all it takes to become less reactive and more in tune with the moment. In that one second lies the opportunity to improve the way you decide and direct, the way you engage and lead. That’s an enormous advantage for leaders in fast-paced, high-pressure jobs.

Here are five easily implemented tips to help you become more mindful:

  • Practice 10 minutes of mindfulness training each day. Most people find mornings the best time to practice mindfulness, but you can do it any time of day. You can find a 10-minute guided mindfulness training program, a short mindfulness training manual, and a link to a free downloadable mindfulness app here. Try it for four weeks.
  • Avoid reading email first thing in the morning. Our minds are generally most focused, creative, and expansive in the morning. This is the time to do focused, strategic work and have important conversations. If you read your email as you get up, your mind will get sidetracked and you’ll begin the slide toward reactive leadership. Making email your first task of the day wastes the opportunity to use your mind at its highest potential. Try waiting at least 30 minutes, or even an hour, after you get to work before checking your inbox.
  • Turn off all notifications. The notification alarms on your phone, tablet, and laptop are significant contributors to reactive leadership. They keep you mentally busy and put you under pressure, thereby triggering reactionary responses. They cause damage far more than they add value. Try this: For one week turn off all email notifications on all devices. Only check your email once every hour (or as often as responsibly needed for your job), but don’t compulsively check messages as they roll into your inbox.
  • Stop multitasking. It keeps your mind full, busy, and under pressure. It makes you reactive. Try to maintain focus on a single task, and then notice when you find your mind drifting off to another task — a sign that your brain wishes to multitask. When this happens, mentally shut down all the superfluous tasks entering your thoughts while maintaining focus on the task at hand.
  • Put it on your calendar. Schedule a check-in with yourself every two weeks to assess how well you’re doing with the previous four tips, or as a reminder to revisit this article to refresh your memory. Consider engaging one of your peers to do the same thing. This gives you a chance to assess each other, which can be both helpful and motivating.

We encourage you to give these tips a try. Although mindfulness isn’t a magic pill, it will help you more actively select your responses and make calculated choices instead of succumbing to reactionary decisions.

For our upcoming book on mindful leadership, we’re surveying leaders on various aspects of their work experiences. If you’re in a leadership role, and would like to participate, we’d love to hear from you.


This article is about DECISION MAKING

How to Make Your Work Breaks Mindful

There is a compelling reason big companies like Google and Ford have institutionalized mindfulness. Above all, mindfulness keeps people focused on their tasks and helps them treat problems with an open mind. Mindful also plays a central role in team dynamics, as it fosters a more conflict-averse mindset that encourages “present-focused attention, non-judgmental processing, and respectful communication.” 

In addition, mindfulness can make you more productive and less prone to being in disagreements with the people around you. You don’t have to do anything special to practice mindfulness, neither will you need to invest lots of time for it. In fact, you can be mindful even when you take breaks from work.

5 tips to help conquer burnout during the workday:

1. Leave your workstation

There are plenty of reasons to step away from your workstation, whether at work or at home. A Pain-Free Working article on the benefits of not eating at your desk details how your attention is divided between eating and working when you don’t step away for your midday meal. This can result in a decrease both in the quality of your work and in your productivity. You’ll stress yourself out more, too, as you’re not giving yourself some much-deserved me-time to shut-off – even for just a little while. When you’re stressed and distracted, being mindful becomes near-impossible.

2. Eat clean

For your breaks, make it a point to keep eating clean — a tip we discussed in detail in our ‘Eat Clean, 8 Simple Rules’ post. As much as possible, eat “real” food that is organic and has less to no sugar. Aside from being good for your health, eating clean also requires mindful eating. A HelpGuide feature on mindful eating notes that this practice requires you to have an “in-the-moment awareness of the food and drink you put into your body,” thus giving you a deeper appreciation of them and how they impact you.

3. Meditate!

Meditation is a component of mindfulness, with Mindful Work author David Gelles describing it as a way to train the mind. This practice allows you to be “at the moment” while keeping your mind from drifting aimlessly and thinking about the past, your worries, and all sorts of negative thoughts. Fortunately, you can do this during your breaks, as it takes only a few minutes to focus on the present and shut off from the stresses of work and of life. A way to do this, says Gelles, is to zone in on your physical sensations, feelings, and thoughts so you can understand and appreciate them better.

4. Go for a walk

Walking alone is a great way to meditate, as you’re left on your own and away from work. While walking, make sure to feel every step, focusing on how your feet touch the ground, as well as the pressure points of each step – how the balls of your feet push off the ground, and how your heels land. Subsequently, you can use these walks to take stock of your feelings, regardless if they are positive or negative.

5. Stretch

MobileMonkey CEO Larry Kim explains that mindfulness necessitates an awareness of the physical, too, apart from the mental. An easy and effective way to do this is by stretching during breaks, or as often as necessary. While doing so, make sure to feel every stretch and focus on aching or tight body parts. In this way, you get to meditate at work and know which body parts need more of your care later on.

In conclusion, it pays to be mindful, as it can help you in ways that grow your business – through improved problem solving, better team dynamics, and respectful communication. The best part is that being mindful doesn’t need drastic changes in the way you approach other work. Just do the above tips and you will soon be reaping the rewards of mindfulness.

 Image credit: Pexels